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In the company of a sparrow
2010-05-03, 1:08 a.m.

It's early here, and yet the birds are restless. I haven't heard sparrows this early in the morning, but it seems they can't sleep either.

This year I will be 35, and yet I still feel like a child sometimes. Needing acceptance from my parents and never getting it. My father left me a long time ago, and my mom left with him. She hasn't been the same since he died, and not speaking to her in 6 months has given me clarity. My mom died when my dad did. I lost both my parents that day.

Mothers day approaches, and just when I think I should reach out again, she justifies my reasons for ignoring her. I want to run and hide, get my younger sister out of her grasp and move far away. It seems an impossible task.

Thank God for him. If he wasn't in my life, I would've lost my mind years ago. If only he knew how much I struggled.

Goodnight sparrow - until tomorrow.

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